Clear the state...

...Of Mind

I have sat for a few minutes before and after yoga clearing the mind (as instructed). I don't drive much with my job, but when I do, it's often a few hours. It's nice to be alone with my thoughts some times. But sitting and meditating for 20 minutes. That is a new one. Sitting still, eyes closed and "thinking" but not thinking. Hauling a Trailer down I-40 at 60 miles an hour with eyes closed and not moving for 20 minutes would be ill advised. The Yoga instructor typically says clear the mind, not "think"... or, specifically think about one thing. No, with Meditation, My mind becomes the truck and trailer moving at 60 miles an hour... at first on the highway... but then pretty soon it just goes off road and then I think starts jumping through the occasional worm hole. I was told to allow thoughts to come in but then just let them pass. For a few minutes, honestly, nothing came to mind...

Was it a kink in the garden hose?

Or was it a water melons worth of thoughts trying to push their way out of a spigot?

Who knows?

Who cares for that matter?

Finally a few started coming and then free association just kept issuing a new thought that was sometimes loosely connected to the previous thought, sometimes not. I am certainly not comfortable with it yet so I bumble around a bit in my own mind. I grinned occasionally and giggled a bit once at the bizarre non sequiturs that came forth. I also likened the thoughts to some turn of the century walk on a spring evening in Paris after the work day had ended, the thoughts were people all dressed up in their finest to see and be seen kind of strutting around in a slightly over dramatic manner. (a top hat and monocle sort of thing.) The thought comes up with a grand sweep of the hand coupled with a slight bow and says "How do you do?" I say "Fine thank you how are you." It then Ambles on into the pleasant night air. Then another one strolls by. And this is odd because I am in North America and it was clearly 11:30 in the morning. (which ironically puts it at early evening in Paris). I had many layers of thought going all at once. Some of it was simply commentary on each thought, some of it was trying to find the pattern in the thoughts. And then thankfully, most of it was just the passing thoughts themselves. I feel that this is what it is supposed to be... but hell I don't know. It's my meditation and the bottom line is this. What must I do to gain a little clarity? Clearly its a Chinese finger trap. It is something that I must allow rather than force... At any rate, it's something new for me. And I think I'll go sit down and SEEMINGLY do nothing at all for another 20 minutes. But things are happening non the less. I do believe that much.