Neti Pot is for babies.

A friend of mine mentioned that she had been using a neti pot every morning. I had no idea what that was. Turns out it is basically a little tea pot that you fill with warm salt water and you put the opening in one nostril and then let gravity do the rest. It is supposed to pour out the other nostril. It cleans you out and helps your sinuses... Well that is just great. good for those folks. I recently became sick. Did not feel like doing anything. Every morning there was the perfunctory brownish green yellow with flecks of red united nations of crap pouring out of my head thus indicating that this cold mean business, liked my head, and wanted to settle in. Well I didn't very much like that idea. I rummaged around my disorganized bathroom sink cabinet looking for my silver bullet. A Neti pot you ask?

Aw hell no. H E L L no! I am not going to rely on gravity and gentle streams to penetrate the crud in my head and throat. No, I go for "Saline Irrigation". I have not had to do it for a long long time, but this is the first time I have been sick in recent memory and I just won't stand for it.

I take one of those ear wax removal bulbs (obviously a fresh one that has NOT ever been used for ear wax removal) and fill it with the hottest salt water and a pinch of baking soda that I can stand. Then I put the tip in one nostril and pinch my nose shut with the thing in there. I then exhale (to keep with salt water from going down my wind pipe) and smash the bulb as hard as I can. Hot salt water flies all through my knoggin. Drips in the back of my mouth down my throat, fills everything. I then stay bent over the sink to let all the mess flee my head. I repeat for each nostril usually another time or two. I used to cough or gag, but I have gotten used to the sensation and I tolerate it fairly well now even though it has been a few years since i have done it.

The rest of the day I can breath and I also know that I have really cleaned myself out. Typically just one session does the trick, but if I wake the next morning stopped up at all, out it comes.

Musinex commercial, kiss my ass.